My soul feels tired lately. I am not sure why, maybe it is the winter blues setting in. I wish I could go do something, anything to break up the everyday shit. I really wish I had the money to go get a new tattoo, or pay my power bill for that matter. I am as broke as a tooth fairy in a house of meth addicts. Whats new? It was about three degrees today when Joe left for work. I am so sick of the cold, the bordom, I wish I could afford a hobby. I would like to learn how to make stuff with yarn. The loams I have seen at walmart are cool. You can make blankets and whatnot. I would like to scrap book too, but again, you need that green to do ANYTHING. Except blog about your crappy life I suppose lol!
I wish I knew if I was pregnant, that would give me something to look forward too.
Had a job interview today, have to wait and see if I get called back for another interview or not. It isn't a great job, but it is better than my empty hand right now!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Another day short of a dollar
Well, I think are going to make bills this week. Scraping by, by just the skin of our teeth. I have filled out so many job application, talked to so many people, made so many phone calls. Then to top it off, my phone is now shut off because I can't afford a phone card. So if someone calls my phone, I will have no way to get the message. I am lucky to have a wonderful best friend though, she is going to get me a phone card next week. (Phew) My girl and I had a good day though, we went to the park for a bit, till everyone and thier mother showed up. I miss talking to my best friend on the phone. I am just waiting for the silver to show through my cloud. I am tired of clouds. I have things to be thankful for though, like a patient landlord, and help from my friends.
Joe and I are crazy to want to have another kid right now, but I want one. I really do. Joe and I deserve to have something to look forward too. I think my daughter deserves to be a big sister. I don't know when it will happen, for all I know I could be pregnant already. It feels like it is taking forever for me to find out, but I haven't even had my implanon out for a month yet, no bleeding, nothing. But , the Dr told me I could get pregnant immediatly. So, lets play the waiting game!
Joe and I are crazy to want to have another kid right now, but I want one. I really do. Joe and I deserve to have something to look forward too. I think my daughter deserves to be a big sister. I don't know when it will happen, for all I know I could be pregnant already. It feels like it is taking forever for me to find out, but I haven't even had my implanon out for a month yet, no bleeding, nothing. But , the Dr told me I could get pregnant immediatly. So, lets play the waiting game!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Its Been A While
Well, here I am again, another year older, I am not sure about the wiser part though. Its been a rough year, and I feel battered and bruised inside and out. Joe and I's anniversary is in seven days. It will be five years that we have been married. Seems like an eternity and a split second all wrapped up into five years. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. My daughter will be three in april, and we are trying for another baby. Not that it feels like trying ;). Been having serious troubles in the job aspect of things. Money is really tight, and it feels like I am on a slowly sinking ship. But I know in my heart that things will get better. I am not patient for things to be better, I want it to happen NOW! I want to be knocked up, a million dollars richer, and 100 pounds lighter. I wanna live in a big fancy house on 80 acres, and have that money to just throw around. That would be the life. I need to find a job soon, or I am going to lose my mind. I have too much time at home to sit here and fantasize about things that I WANT. I have a good man, we have great sex, I have a good kid, I might be faced with bills up the ass, and all my utilities may be facing shut off, but at least we have eachother.
Joes ex has been trying to start her usual shit. Trying to get things started with Joe again, until we text her and told her that she needs to get it thru her fat head that he is never leaving me. I was working at walmart for a time and had the pleasure of working with her mother. Oh joy. I wasn't there 2 hours on my first day and the both of them were in there trying to get me in trouble. BTW she doesn't even work there, its just her mom. Joe got his child support raised to almost $300 per month. Which idk how they expect us to live on under a grand a month. She has three counts of welfare fraud, and she is still recieving full benefits and is living in subsidized housing. She hasn't had a job in over a year, and the only way they figure to fix her problems is to make my husband pay more for her to sit on her ass. AHHH the system, thanks for failing me yet again. The court also required him to put the kid on his insurance, don't get that either. The kid is on state, they just wanted to make him pay more for his premiums. She is lucky that Joe even pays. My best friend has a two year old son that doesn't get shit! His father is 6 months behind, but do you think the system is helping her? No, because she isn't lazy and works for what she wants. So, having the insurance card has given her "excuses" to text Joe. Then make up stories to tell people around me at work that he is leaving me and going to let her move in with him. I think she has a serious malfunction. She really got a reality check the other night though when we text her. I trust Joe, and I know she is full of shit, she just makes herself look like a jackass going around saying all this shit. But, what can you do. You can' fix stupid, and with that brand of stupid, I wouldn't even know where to start.
So, I am going to go watch my movie, shave my legs, look for a job, clean my house, cook dinner, and sleep with my husband. Have a great night!
Joes ex has been trying to start her usual shit. Trying to get things started with Joe again, until we text her and told her that she needs to get it thru her fat head that he is never leaving me. I was working at walmart for a time and had the pleasure of working with her mother. Oh joy. I wasn't there 2 hours on my first day and the both of them were in there trying to get me in trouble. BTW she doesn't even work there, its just her mom. Joe got his child support raised to almost $300 per month. Which idk how they expect us to live on under a grand a month. She has three counts of welfare fraud, and she is still recieving full benefits and is living in subsidized housing. She hasn't had a job in over a year, and the only way they figure to fix her problems is to make my husband pay more for her to sit on her ass. AHHH the system, thanks for failing me yet again. The court also required him to put the kid on his insurance, don't get that either. The kid is on state, they just wanted to make him pay more for his premiums. She is lucky that Joe even pays. My best friend has a two year old son that doesn't get shit! His father is 6 months behind, but do you think the system is helping her? No, because she isn't lazy and works for what she wants. So, having the insurance card has given her "excuses" to text Joe. Then make up stories to tell people around me at work that he is leaving me and going to let her move in with him. I think she has a serious malfunction. She really got a reality check the other night though when we text her. I trust Joe, and I know she is full of shit, she just makes herself look like a jackass going around saying all this shit. But, what can you do. You can' fix stupid, and with that brand of stupid, I wouldn't even know where to start.
So, I am going to go watch my movie, shave my legs, look for a job, clean my house, cook dinner, and sleep with my husband. Have a great night!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Nov 21st, 2010 FML
Yesterday was a disappointment. I had another interview and was told to my face that I would not be hired because I am female. I was applying for a position as a doorperson to a local bar that is opening, and I wasn’t hired because she didn’t think I could “lift heavy stuff” and she told me she was looking to hire a guy for the job. Whatever is all I have to say.
Snowed a little today. I am hoping that there will be snow enough soon to play in with my daughter. On a good note, I did get a 55 gallon fish tank today. Got it all set up, and running to get ready for some fish. I want to make it a warm water tank so I can have something besides goldfish.
Oh, and here is a little tid bit that I am having problems with. I placed an add on the famous Craigslist that I am looking for work. I expected the occasional nasty email, but I had one from a guy that I am having problems with discerning if it is a scam or not.
He is a architect, and he is working out of the country. He wants me to buy things and mail them for him, and receive his business and personal mail. Now, I thought it was a scam for sure. But he is going to pay me $800 per month to do this, in the form of a money order, and send money to pay for the things he wants me to buy, and he has a UPS account to pay for shipping. He hasn’t asked for any pertinent information, and hasn’t asked for change. So I don’t know what to do with it.
Who knows, everyone is telling me that it is a scam, but what is he trying to scam me out of?? I am hoping tomorrow is a better day…..but first let me tell you about today…
Did a little Christmas shopping which was good. Not too many people at the dreaded Wal-Mart. Hung out at home with the hubby, and listened to my kid be crabby all day. I am surprised that I haven’t pulled out all my hair and run screaming into the night. But, the icing on the cake was when I went shopping at the local grocery store. I dropped my wallet out in the parking lot and I haven’t seen it since. I lost $70, my ID, my SSI card ( I know I shouldn’t have had it in there to begin with right), and my pre-paid MasterCard, and various store memberships, and important stuff. I am hoping that by the grace of God that it turns up, but I doubt it……..all I want to do now is go to bed and hope to wake up to a better day.
Snowed a little today. I am hoping that there will be snow enough soon to play in with my daughter. On a good note, I did get a 55 gallon fish tank today. Got it all set up, and running to get ready for some fish. I want to make it a warm water tank so I can have something besides goldfish.
Oh, and here is a little tid bit that I am having problems with. I placed an add on the famous Craigslist that I am looking for work. I expected the occasional nasty email, but I had one from a guy that I am having problems with discerning if it is a scam or not.
He is a architect, and he is working out of the country. He wants me to buy things and mail them for him, and receive his business and personal mail. Now, I thought it was a scam for sure. But he is going to pay me $800 per month to do this, in the form of a money order, and send money to pay for the things he wants me to buy, and he has a UPS account to pay for shipping. He hasn’t asked for any pertinent information, and hasn’t asked for change. So I don’t know what to do with it.
Who knows, everyone is telling me that it is a scam, but what is he trying to scam me out of?? I am hoping tomorrow is a better day…..but first let me tell you about today…
Did a little Christmas shopping which was good. Not too many people at the dreaded Wal-Mart. Hung out at home with the hubby, and listened to my kid be crabby all day. I am surprised that I haven’t pulled out all my hair and run screaming into the night. But, the icing on the cake was when I went shopping at the local grocery store. I dropped my wallet out in the parking lot and I haven’t seen it since. I lost $70, my ID, my SSI card ( I know I shouldn’t have had it in there to begin with right), and my pre-paid MasterCard, and various store memberships, and important stuff. I am hoping that by the grace of God that it turns up, but I doubt it……..all I want to do now is go to bed and hope to wake up to a better day.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Nov 20th, 2010
Yesterday, I had a job interview at a bar/restauraunt in town. One of the first questions that the man asked me was if I had any kids, and if there was any issues with babysitting. I said no, not if I got the hours that I wanted. The whole reason that I asked for the hours that I did was so my daughter can stay out of daycare, and my husband can watch her. Needless to say he was looking for someone to work the opposite of the hours that I want, of course.
I beat down alot of doors yesterday. Found a cute little brewery that had opened up two weeks ago right across the street from my house. Tried for a job, but they weren't hiring. Made an awesome dinner, kilbasa, and green beans cooked with hickory bacon, with mashed taters and brown gravy. Was killer.
Joe has all next week off, I don't know what I am going to do with myself. You would think that with him home things would get done easier and chores would always be caught up. It is the opposite really. He pretty much has his butt glued to the couch and is either playing video games, or watching movies all day. I can understand that he is the majority money provider for the family. But what do you want to bet that things don't change when I get a job. I will have to work a job, upkeep a house, maintain a child, cook, do laundry....the list goes on and on. It is a wait and see thing I guess. I hope he proves me wrong because I am going to get burnt out on that really fast if I end up doing everything. Hope at least I can get some decent sleep tonight. But the look in Joes eyes tells me different......(sigh)
I beat down alot of doors yesterday. Found a cute little brewery that had opened up two weeks ago right across the street from my house. Tried for a job, but they weren't hiring. Made an awesome dinner, kilbasa, and green beans cooked with hickory bacon, with mashed taters and brown gravy. Was killer.
Joe has all next week off, I don't know what I am going to do with myself. You would think that with him home things would get done easier and chores would always be caught up. It is the opposite really. He pretty much has his butt glued to the couch and is either playing video games, or watching movies all day. I can understand that he is the majority money provider for the family. But what do you want to bet that things don't change when I get a job. I will have to work a job, upkeep a house, maintain a child, cook, do laundry....the list goes on and on. It is a wait and see thing I guess. I hope he proves me wrong because I am going to get burnt out on that really fast if I end up doing everything. Hope at least I can get some decent sleep tonight. But the look in Joes eyes tells me different......(sigh)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Nov 19th, 2010
Yesterday was a weird one, I tell you what. The most part of the day I spent at home with my little booboo. Reading books, cleaning the house, washing dishes, and coloring. Spent a little time playing Black Ops online just because I love to shoot guys and have them get all mad that they got killed by a girl, it’s the best I swear. Got my last full unemployment check, Joe got paid, so I knew we were going to go into town when he got home.
Joe got home while booboo was sleeping, and lets just say I was unprepared for the attack…..but it was ok lol ;)Baby woke up shortly after, so we got ready to go to town. Stopped by a local tavern to check for a job opening. I was greeted by the owner, who told me he would do my interview right then, but he had been drinking and didn’t do interviews drunk, but did tell me to come back the next morning at 8!
Went to Wal-Mart, oh yay…love to hate that store. Joe went off to the movie section while I got dinner figured out (of course) and while I was in the pizza section I was met by the creepiest guy I have ever seen in my whole entire life! He was there in the isle with his equally creepy friend. As soon as I saw the two of them stop close enough to smell, I decided to leave the isle. Upon looking over my shoulder back up the isle when I met Joe at the end, I was greeted by the sight of the creepy dude staring at me with his mouth open, standing spread-legged in the middle of the isle. Now to paint a more accurate picture. He was about 6’2”, 280#s, shoulder length greasy black hair, extremely bad acne, pjs, and a long black trench coat. I felt like one of those women that ends up in a local ditch with her head cut off. I think I am going to have nightmares of that man…creepo…thing for a LONG time.
Went home, slapped the pizza in the oven, fed baby, watched Grown Ups, which I might add is an awesome movie, and decided to head to bed. Anticipating the next day and my interview. Also hoping to not be graced with the presents of the creepy dude in my dreams…
Joe got home while booboo was sleeping, and lets just say I was unprepared for the attack…..but it was ok lol ;)Baby woke up shortly after, so we got ready to go to town. Stopped by a local tavern to check for a job opening. I was greeted by the owner, who told me he would do my interview right then, but he had been drinking and didn’t do interviews drunk, but did tell me to come back the next morning at 8!
Went to Wal-Mart, oh yay…love to hate that store. Joe went off to the movie section while I got dinner figured out (of course) and while I was in the pizza section I was met by the creepiest guy I have ever seen in my whole entire life! He was there in the isle with his equally creepy friend. As soon as I saw the two of them stop close enough to smell, I decided to leave the isle. Upon looking over my shoulder back up the isle when I met Joe at the end, I was greeted by the sight of the creepy dude staring at me with his mouth open, standing spread-legged in the middle of the isle. Now to paint a more accurate picture. He was about 6’2”, 280#s, shoulder length greasy black hair, extremely bad acne, pjs, and a long black trench coat. I felt like one of those women that ends up in a local ditch with her head cut off. I think I am going to have nightmares of that man…creepo…thing for a LONG time.
Went home, slapped the pizza in the oven, fed baby, watched Grown Ups, which I might add is an awesome movie, and decided to head to bed. Anticipating the next day and my interview. Also hoping to not be graced with the presents of the creepy dude in my dreams…
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Nov 18th,2010
Well, first day of my blog and I am kind of excited for what this may bring to my life! Why did I start to write a blog? Well, there are too many things that happen in my average life not too. I have to share the wealth of funny stuff that happens to me and my family.
Last night, I made dinner (which was friggen awesome, because I am a damn good cook) which was sliced steak with mushrooms and onions in brown gravy over rice. Salad on the side. I could tell by the way Joe(AKA hubby) kept wiggling his eyebrows at me over his dinner plate that there was no rest for the wicked after dinner was done.....I was right~
Afterwards I jumped on Joes phone and text my best friend, I said I love you! Somehow the conversation went to my husband trying to convince her to send him some pictures of her boobs. I laughed, completely unconcerned because I knew two things. One, he was kidding, and two, she would never send pictures of her boobs to him. He told her, they all pretty much look the same anyway. She writes to him, not really, my boobs are sad. What does my husband say to her? Put a smiley face on them and they won't be so sad.....Went to bed shortly after that, baby went to sleep well. Blissful sleep....write more tomorrow!
Last night, I made dinner (which was friggen awesome, because I am a damn good cook) which was sliced steak with mushrooms and onions in brown gravy over rice. Salad on the side. I could tell by the way Joe(AKA hubby) kept wiggling his eyebrows at me over his dinner plate that there was no rest for the wicked after dinner was done.....I was right~
Afterwards I jumped on Joes phone and text my best friend, I said I love you! Somehow the conversation went to my husband trying to convince her to send him some pictures of her boobs. I laughed, completely unconcerned because I knew two things. One, he was kidding, and two, she would never send pictures of her boobs to him. He told her, they all pretty much look the same anyway. She writes to him, not really, my boobs are sad. What does my husband say to her? Put a smiley face on them and they won't be so sad.....Went to bed shortly after that, baby went to sleep well. Blissful sleep....write more tomorrow!
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